R

my bf made a joke about wanting to watch if I made out with one of his female friends and immediately I felt angry and lowkey depressed as if I made a huge mistake trusting a guy not to be problematic. I told him exactly why I was upset, that this was the first time I felt confronted with the fact that he’s a product of the patriarchy, like my bisexuality was for his amusement, that it felt like he regarded my sapphic side as not real, unimportant, and I told him that my attraction to girls has nothing to do with him.

at first he didn’t get it, he asked why is it wrong for him to find that sexy and I can find two guys making out sexy. But I explained that the issue was on a personal level, like I wouldn’t like it if he kissed a guy because he’s with me, even though objectively I would find it attractive.

and eventually he said he understood that he was being insensitive. and low-key I’m worried he’s just saying to appease me. but I hope not. this is the one time I’m trusting a guy and bc honestly I’m only misandrist bc they keep fucking letting me down. but I really like this one. please don’t let me down. bc I feel like my inner critic that’s afraid of attachment and rejection is looking for any reason for this not to work.

  1. grumpiestbi posted this